Sunday, December 27, 2009

How it's done

In honor of this season of giving, I decided to share with you my secret for accomplishing hideous and unloved household chores. You can thank me later.

Scenario: For the past week, I've been cleaning my house. By that I mean doing all the basic cleaning that most normal people do weekly, but that I avoid until sheer mortification and the coming of my mother forces my hand. Then, for Christmas, we had 15 people, including my mom in the house. To give my family credit, most of the dishes were washed before they went home that night, but the rest of the mess created by 15 people in a small place remained. There was also the remains of a 21 lb. turkey to pick.

My reaction: (with great feeling and appropriate whining tones) I don't wanna!

Solution: *Cast on a sweater, knit for five rounds. Discover resulting sweater would fit a rhino. Go clean kitchen to avoid frogging sweater. Wash dishes until frogging becomes more attractive that cleaning. Frog sweater and cast on again. Knit until it becomes clear that there is not enough yarn to complete this sweater. Yarn is discontinued. Go and clean up dining room to avoid the realization that sweater is croaking again. Clean up new Christmas toys and attempt to find places for them while three year old acts as though you are throwing out her new treasures instead of rescuing them from the jaws of the dog. Continue until you realize that frogging sweater is preferable to one more discussion about whether or not Mommy is trying to impersonate the Grinch and ruin the little who's Christmas. Repeat from * until house is clean, sweater is finished or you give up and go knit washcloths, or a quick santy clause hat and a coat. He he he.

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